Saturday night was the last night I could stay at my ex's house. Her husband, father and his wife were wonderful. They made me feel welcomed, reminded me of the family that I had lost. I wasn't used to their level of banter but I got used to it.
I was able to stand on my own with only some itch, mainly on my left foot. That night I watched the movie Allegiant with her husband; while my ex had gone out with her cousin to his some bars. She has not changed much, still loves to go out with an unfiltered mouth and ready to get into a brawl (now she legally carries a gun which makes her even more dangerous). I pity anyone who crosses her.
Sunday morning I joined the family for breakfast, which included pancakes and orange juice. Their larger dog finally allowed me to be close enough too feed him some pancake. He is so gentle that I didn't even feel him touching my hand.
After breakfast the nice duffel bag that her husband gave me was filled with my clothes which were now clean (she did laundry for me). Also new clothing (hoodie, socks, underwear, and a hospital blanket) they added.
Her stepmother was glad that my time with them helped me recover. She told me that when she saw me barely walking a few days ago, that it broke her heart. I thanked everyone for their hospitality and kindness.
She drove me to Dunkin Donuts, and bought me some food. I showed her the spot where I slept and she got emotional and started to tear up. I tried to calm her down, assuring her that I'd be alright.
I admitted to her that if she had tried anything, that I would have been putty in her hands. It is easy to ignore other woman, they are strangers to me, and those I befriend and get to know me, see me only as a friend (which works for me).
We have a history, a very intense and passionate history. I know myself well enough that with her, my defenses would crumble. Luckily nothing happened. She said a divorce is unavoidable, that she has been unhappy for years. I can't figure out how that may affect our friendship down the road, if it will have any effect at all.
She has convinced me to stay in Florida a while, wanting to help me with my legal problems. My plan was to save enough money to buy a Greyhound bus ticket, go west and leave Florida for either Texas or California. I calculated that I'd need about $350 to leave (and still be homeless elsewhere). I'll put my trip on hold, but I intend to leave the state and start over out west. If I can become a resident then I'll work my ass off to get a job, buy a car and save enough to then drive west.
After some chit chat, she calmed down but started to tear up again as she was getting ready to leave. I kept reassuring her that I would be fine. Hours later she would admit that she had been crying most of the day when she got home. Our friendship has just restarted, I trust her as much as I can, but not totally. She was my weakness and still is, so I need to be careful.
I want to remarry, I liked being a husband and it would be nice to be in love again. No, not just nice... it would be wonderful. Finding real love is hard, with any luck you can find a true love once in a lifetime, finding it twice is rare. I'm up for the challenge.
Since the late 80's, I've only been with american women, of different backgrounds and ethnicity. Most of those encounters were casual (in my 20's it was hundreds). The few serious relationships were with white women. If I'm to remarry I think my preference may be a petite Latina in her 30's with maybe 1 kid or no kids. I'm still not sure, but my grandmother always told me that a Latina would understand me better.
Last night after Dunkin Donuts closed at 8 pm, I couldn't make it to Starbucks; I was only able to walk one block. My left foot was once again swollen. I decided to stay at a bench a while to relax. Taking the chance to entertain myself, I read a book on my phone for the next 2 hours. At the time I had forgotten to take the Advil that her stepmother had advised me to take twice a day. They had give me a brand new bottle of Advil, I just plainly forgot that I had it.
I then tried to walk with the same result, barely able to move. Slowly but surely I made it to my spot to find that all my cardboard was gone. Leaving the duffel bag which her husband had kindly given me earlier that day at my spot I had to go and get some new cardboard. It didn't take long, only 10 minutes and with 2 unfolded cardboard boxes I set up my spot properly.
Using the duffel bag as leverage I put my feet on it while I used the backpack as a pillow like always. Later in the night (about 2 am) it got colder and wrapped myself in the hospital blanket she had given me. It warmed me up perfectly, allowing me to get back to sleep.
I woke up at 6:30 am, got up and slowly walked into Dunkin Donuts. My friend Eli was surprised to see me, she thought I was going to stay with my ex. When I explained that she was married and living with family she got the point.
After placing my things at the corner booth (my own little corner I hang out at) I slowly took the chairs and tables outside. It wasn't comfortable but it is the least I can do considering I will stay here all day. I can't go to the Delray Library or local soup kitchen, it wouldn't help my left foot to walk that much.
I'll spend a few bucks at DD to eat when I'm hungry. I can handle this for a week, I need to finish healing. I won't go back to her home until Thanksgiving (her family invited me). Going to watch a movie now to relax. I will work on my other blogs ("Letters of my Life" & "Homeless Survival Guide") this week.
May you walk in the light of God.
Sincerely.
Luis
No comments:
Post a Comment