Ok, for those who recently found out that I was homeless, here is a recap and update.
Was married for 19 years to a woman who was jealous and controlling. She kept me in fear of being deported, my blind love kept me from living a full life. During that time I worked off the books, all my entertainment was pretty much online. Thanks to Anarchy Online (an MMO game) and other online multiplayer games I was able to avoid depression.
In Jan 14th of 2015 my wife died, and I became extremely depressed because she was my whole world. Her family (brother + 2 kids and sister) lived with us. 3 months after her passing I was told by my brother in law to stop being so depressed because it was affecting his children. I pretended to get out of depression, while at the same time thinking suicidal thoughts on a daily basis. I must clarify that the thoughts were to harm myself, never others.
In Jul of 2015 my brother in law demanded that I came up with more money for the family. Within a day I came up with a business plan to run different streams of income between Ebay, Amazon FBA (Fulfillment by Amazon), OfferUp and Craigslist. They agreed to my plan, however for the first 6 months I had to practically beg for them to pull their own weight since they had agreed to work with me to build the several business ventures I was working very hard on.
Working every day, learning how to make money online kept my depression in check. I was still depressed, but between focusing on business and exercise I was able to keep all the negative feelings inside. I was glad to be able to help the family, to be able to buy things for the house and the kids that they wanted.
It all ended in June of 2016. One day my "brother" just told me "shut everything down" because he felt I was not making enough money for the family. I tried to explain that it takes time to build things up, that I could turn $10 into $50, but that his expectations were unrealistic. He expected me to turn $10 into $50 and then give him the $50 leaving me nothing to re-invest. Mind you the $10/$50 is an example.
I worked so hard for so long, watching hundreds of Youtube videos, going through dozens of websites, reading and watching everything I could avoid mistakes and learn how to do things right. I picked, researched, packed and shipped every item. They barely did a thing, and I would buy whatever was needed, give whatever I could while building the businesses.
That day everything that I had pushed down came up. My depression went into high gear. I had planned my suicide for a long time, and I felt I had nothing to keep me grounded any longer. I shut everything down as he ordered, and 3 days later I tried to commit suicide.
I survived, overcame my depression thanks to professional help. After walking for 8 hours (I had no money and my "family" never picked me up even after leaving several messages), I got home to be told by my brother in law that I was out of the family. I was given a backpack with some clothes, my phone (which only worked on WiFi), my wallet and some money. He said I could not contact him, his sister or his kids and to start walking north.
For 19 years I was married to his sister, knew him even before he got married, before he got kids, before his ex died of cancer. All the years of being part of the family, didn't matter to him. He even said "everything was perfect and you messed it all up" before he told me to go north.
For 6 months I lived on the streets. At the beginning eating out of dumpsters before I figured out how to find a soup kitchen. An ex-girlfriend found me on Facebook and helped me out, first taking me in a few days when I was in crutches. Later on I was invited for Thanksgiving, to be then surprised to be told that I was not leaving, that they would take me in, that I was now part of their family.
So here I am, in a safe place. My feet are still healing, but getting better every week. I got no money, but I sleep comfortably on a leather sofa every night, I have meals, I get to have a hot shower every day. Every day I'm happy to help by walking the dogs (which I really like and they got used to me now) and do some house chores. I'm very grateful to be here, thank god.
I'm broke, but I'm safe. It's a good start.
May you walk in the light of God.
Sincerely.
Luis
